Anum88's Weblog

…others i realte to…on the world wide web

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:12:25 +0000

http://www.globalindia.com/bwforums/showthread.php?t=16506

well this is a forum i go on all the time its people who blog but others blog about them , i loved how this person wrote it, it was not about personality it wasn’t about love it was about reality in life, the goals we set the way we think the way we are the way things are to be the way we should wait and plan in logic rather than just wondering around making unreachable plans people all around think of i think i am not very logical but yet when i read this i found it kinds of interesting and i thought thats the kind of thinking that helps a person succeeded and people who limit there intelligence are likely the ones who will be at one place for a long time rather than moving up in life they will have to go back and learn , unlike people who are goal orientated seem to find many options in life open to them where ever they are or who they are with ,maybe i needed this blog in my life so i can have a memory of what is reality and what is just feelings that we fall in trap of and forget that in life its good to be practical at times.

word bank poem

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:44:05 +0000

walk up, down here there, over around Dallas. nervously laugh walking slowly she drove ,long through ,here there over around Dallas, slowly parked around Richland he hurriedly walked, drove to theater profousley loudly,hair swinging up down, around dallas

blogging….

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:31:16 +0000

when class first started i was like oh my god why would she give a assignment like this? to write life in words, so much all the time (heheh sorry miss goldfarb) but later i just liked it , i was kind of sort of glad because it gave time, to flashbacks time to think about old times and what our mind set is now, i think i will likely write in it sometimes , just to get my word out but yeah thats what it was at first i hated it and later it was just worth the time i actually sat and made some short ones longer because i would be like ” oh i forgot to write that oh and i didn’t mention what happened later on” and than i would think if some one saw me they are going to be like what the hell psycho looney chic all into her word press lol but i don’t care anymore i bet half of the class thinks that way , i just became ” brave ” enough to say it lol so yeah now i am all for blogging its fun !!:) and my aunt needs me to help her daughters with english i have a feeling i am going to tell them to do this also so they can get practice, i am sure after reading this people will be scared of me heheh but i guess sometimes we have to get over things so…get over it!

sing a song….creative side

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:21:17 +0000

I Have always been creative when i was 6 i made drawings of flowers that later were hanged in my aunts new home i made a doll house out of cardboard and wrapping paper when i was 11 and after that i always did art drew and when i was about 15 i made a model of a mosque and it was sold in a charity and i found out about it after three years when i started high school. my mum and aunts were always very happy for my interest in arts but my father always seemed to say that it was taking away from my education in basic needs , mostly math, but i kept to it , till one day i had made a painting a abstract one and that same day my math teacher in 10th grade sent home a failure notice and that painting was thrown away by my dad and my paints and art stuff also and i was told that i would not bring home or go out to do any sort of art till i made a A in math, i knew that it was impossible , but i just left that day alone later that week we were in the car and my painting had not been in the trash can outside but two blocks away it was hanging in a home window in a frame , i looked at my dad who was in shock mode but didn’t bother saying anything to me it was that day i left all art alone, and focused on my studies , i would have a great urge to just pick up teh pencil and draw but i would think whats the point my dad finds it worthless, well two years passed my senior year i started arts i made a 90 in math and i interior designed my aunts new home to everyones shock i was back:) and i still draw and paint but i have controlled it a bit now before it was just arts all day night now its arts twice a week , but i am not going to let my favorite thing go to waste in the summer i am planing on making abstract painting for nursing homes as a courtesy. i think everyone is talented in so many ways they should just believe that they are good whether others do or don’t, because life will be so so so boring if there was nothing to do or just a simple person we would all just avoid them , so for others i would just sya have fun make the best of all the things we have even if its not a lot, and now my father wants me to design his new clinic in mesquite and i do makeup for Indian- Arabic bridal parties also and that is also permission given by him i guess my silent mode towards speaking about my art worked so well on him…:):):)

stress relief….

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:07:22 +0000

well everyone has there little tricks and and tacts for getting rid of stress , i in general am a very nervous and stressful person but the only way is i make time and pray , i had once met someone who was going through a very bad periods of his life and i asked how are you? and his reply changed my life forever” anum honestly i am horrible but i am thankful also i have a family , i am alive and have roof under my had but about worried what i have done is left it to god he is taking care of me he will take care of that also , if i can trust in god to ask his help i can also trust god to take care of my matters out of my hand” i stood there looking at him for so long and when i left those words were running through my mind i came home and wrote that four times on paper ripped all four up and put one in my purse one behind the door one in a photo album and one in a book, it reminds me that some things are beyond my control and if i can trust that everything god will do will be in good favor of me not at first but somewhere later on i will be very happy thats how i get rid of my stress for 5 years now i have done this , i sit and pray and think i am leaving it to god so now its the question whether my faith is strong enough to conquer my belief in life and myself. and i hope for someone out there who is like me or worried about stuff even if its exams or a simple quiz or a big descion in life they should try this i cant say i guarantee they will be perfect but i can say that they sure will have a great day all year around knowing that there problems will be soon fixed.

what i have become…..

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:57:43 +0000

OMG lol where do i start well i have defiantly become nerdy well i have always been the childish teh very oblivious to her surroundings kind of person in my family and with my friends i was always known as the ” confused one” in high school by my friends , its because i worry to much i take tension fir every little thing possible and as weird as it sounds when college started i was like ” oh god great now i am going to be dropped out of all the classes because my teachers will find me elementary level brained ” well that didn’t happen i actually gained confidence i learned to say what was on my mind and however i wanted to say it , before i would just leave thing alone if some one was messing me up i would just be like god will take care of it but i thought to myself if i dont let it goaway now it will happen all my life, i rather be a confused b\old person than confused stupid cute kid, i changed a lot i focused on input than the out put i would receive i learned to only always rely on myself rather than others who it might not be a big deal to as big of a deal it it is to me…… and i learned that when i try i should stop worrying because it will end in good all through the start i worried about math i hate the subject and the thought of it but i just tried hard and kept thinking i have to prove my mum and dad wrong , since they thought i would now pass college math but i did great i am very proud of myself for the fist time i started with 50′s and ended with 80′s , i guess my effort and prayers sort off came through i hope it remains the same way all through college and i don’t become a book worm but i guess “nerdiness” isn’t too bad for someone who still watched dragon tales all week long.:)

Connecting with others

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:33:34 +0000

i read liloze’s blog about how she moved here and all the struggles and how her mom was their strength i relate to that so much i know how moving from a totally different surrounding is , although i knew liloze and her brother i just saw her this year after a very long time but i never knew all that but i do know what she means by how different it was and how her moms ways of being is so much to them , because that is just the same life story of my life just in a different way of telling, only liloze knows how she would have felt at the moment when she came here , and i know exactly what she means thats what i always say when people ask me i only think to my self they cant imaging half of the feelings we went through in a minute. liloze adapted here very fast i am still in that phase and i hope i will overcome it with ease but i was glad to read her story it made me know some one out there knows what i am talking about and knows what i am thinking when i say i am in a middle of nowhere but i am here somewhere. its weird to me how i knew liloze and i even sat with her at lunch in jr.high but i never knew she had gone through or even had a experience like mines , when i read it i smiled looking at the screen because i felt so weird in a funny way and later i though how i have met her after so long and i never thought i would see her in life again and what was weird was that after jr.high i always mentioned her to my mum saying: i wonder what happened to her, she probably dosent know who i am anymore” and when i walked in your class miss goldfarb i think i was more shocked to see her than to see college life at first . I missed yea liloze i am glad we caught up ! i never would have imagined that i would meet her again and i would have never known her life had been so much like mines.

soundtarck of my life

anum88 — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:21:17 +0000

waking up: massari .BE EASY ON ME ” arabic singer i got obsessed with in high school

first day of school: Boys 2 men , song ” lets not wait ” my friend in highschool name allie sang this in a talent show and made me freeze inside out.

falling in love: Tere der per sanam ” indian song that talks about one way street of love , i love old indian songs so this is one from 1996

Breaking up: Outcast ” i like the way you move” i hated this song when it came out but my bestfriends abraham would always listen to it so he put it in my cd and lol i loved it later on

prom: Sami usuf “ya allaha” arabic singer religious song with beautiful beats he is saying the names of the god , downloaded it because i have a kindergarden crush on sami yusuf forever:):):)

life:marcos hernandez ” if you were mine” thsi song has bunch of memories it was dedicated to me in a very awkward moment in high school at lunch heheh

mental breakdown : Massari “real love” another arabic hottie with a great voice.

driving: TUM BIN indian song about a girl who loses her fiance in a car accident , love this song and the movie it was from i watched this movie 29 times already.

Flashback : boys 2 men” i am sorry “this song is one of my favorites it just makes me calm down and forget all the wrong things in my life.

wedding: Tum bin” jab se tum aye nazar mein ” song from teh same indian movie about how love happend at first sight , i dedicated this song to my aunt once when she was mad at me lol

final battle: J Holiday ” suffocate ” song that i wished every guy meant the lyrics as reality in life to them.

death scene: Fergie ” big girls dont cry ” i wish i was brave enough to know what she meant by that and how its possible to be that strong.

funeral song: massari ” rush the floor” this is a rap and slow song remix that i downloaded just to bug my brother he seems to hate massari and this song.

end credits: Sajan ” TU Pyaar hai kisi aur ka ” indian movie song about two brothers falling in love with the same girl, sad song makes me cry every time one of my dad’s favorites also

“The Rain man” 1988

anum88 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:28:42 +0000

the rain man was the movie that fell in my birth year, i saw the movie Thursday night and i loved it , i thought that the story was so truly based and everyone acted so great especially the face expressions, to me it was like water works i cried and cried i loved it i thought that there are people out there who might actually be in the same situation and will learn a life changing lesson just by watching it, and other who already have might have changed their values in life rather than putting a price tag on its worth. just nowadays most movies are not based on the humans lifestyle in moral or value wise they are based on the random things or high tech coming around but this movie covered every sense in its own way it showed mixed emotions, i love the scene when his brother and hid girlfriend are in the room and he walks in as if there was nothing to it, it showed how helpless everyone felt they all just made that scene so real…. as if it was not a movie . it deserved the Oscar , it made me feel so weird , i was trying to picture my self in that place how would i have been would i have been such a big burden? i don’t know but i had mixed emotions but i loved the movie, i am sensitive to almost anything so i guess this movie made a lasting impression, i think it made me realize that in the so called perfect world we see there are realities out there that we don’t deal with everyday life , but sometimes movies like this capture it and we can sit around and actually take a moment of luxury out of our lives and think about others and what they went through with or what they are going through just to keep our souls alive and our hearts don’t get cold.

a scent…….

anum88 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:08:02 +0000

There are so many colors, looks, features,smells,or even a smile we associate towards others , but sometimes we associate certain scents to people but sometimes also to places, thats the way it has been in my life the scent of sand or mud after it rains is the smell that takes me back to my past….. my country , the image the scent sketches is of Pakistan after it has poured heavily and now its green and their are people busy all around its just one of those smells that makes u forget what or where you are and takes you back to old times that reflect on your past, when it rains here and the trees are just left with a bit of dew on them and their is a slight scent of charcoal or sand we smell after it has rained its the same smell that reminds me of the time when i lived in Pakistan and every two weeks would go to a beach called” hawksbay”it was just extreme fun , thats when a person could actually say ” thats nature” you could smell the scent f mud after it had rained…and there was always this one old man who sat on the corner wall of the beach with a cart and sold lemon corns, it was corn on the cob he wood just peel it off and place it over a wooden hand made stove and than rub a lemon adn a type of chili sauce over it , all these smells just stuck in my memory , but the one that will never go away is the one of the sand after it rained.